I Don’t Want This Reincarnation

“It’s not bad.”

“That’s a relief.”

After I looked at the room and gave my brief impressions, Cheon Sa-yeon, who was watching from behind, smiled.

“Are you going to start right away?”

“No, before that…”

I looked over Cheon Sa-yeon’s shoulder. I could faintly hear other people talking in the living room waiting for us.

After hearing the news that I was going to read the book from today, everyone had emptied their time. If I opened the book, I would be asleep until I finished reading it all, but I was concerned because it seemed like I made everyone work hard.

“Let’s talk for a moment.”

As I closed the door firmly so that the conversation wouldn’t leak out, Cheon Sa-yeon blinked and tilted his head.

“What do you want to talk about?”

“What it could be.”

When he glanced at the book I was lifting in my arms, he gave me an unknown expression.

“This is your last chance. If you don’t like me see it, say so.”

“You worry about everything.”

Cheon Sa-yeon, who gently pushed the book back toward me, opened his mouth.

“Isn’t it the same for me to see your past without your consent? It’s fair for you to look at my past too.”

“It’s a different situation than that. Entering the space is unavoidable…”

“Looking at my past is unavoidable, too.”

Cheon Sa-yeon, who cut off my hesitation with a resolute voice, made eye contact with me.

“It’s not enough just to hear the explanation. Didn’t you know that too, that’s why you asked Brother Recorder to make this book for you?”

“……”

“Once you have made a decision, don’t be swayed. If you are shaken by just this, you won’t be able to protect anyone.”

Hearing that I couldn’t protect anyone, I put strength into the hand holding the book.

I closed my eyes tightly and opened them after trying to calm my heart which was shaking wildly like waves crashing.

“…yeah. You’re right, Cheon Sa-yeon.”

Cheon Sa-yeon, who quietly waited for me to calm down, smiled bitterly at my difficult answer.

“Just go.”

His cold hand lightly brushed the corners of my eyes.

“I will protect the real world here.”

Cheon Sa-yeon accepted me seeing his past as I expected.

On the contrary, I was even encouraged not to back down, so what I had to do now was to get as much information as possible from Cheon Sa-yeon’s past.

Recognizing that I had made a decision, Elohim brought the others into the room. Everyone looked at me with a worried expression as I sat on the sofa with the book.

“It starts as soon as you open the book, Se-hyun-ah. It will take a lot longer than the last time you saw Han Yi-gyeol’s past.”

“I understand.”

“As long as the book is on going to be read, no matter what happens, you can’t stop. So, don’t just think of it as the past that book shows and be careful.”

Raising my gaze, I saw that Elohim had a rare hardened face.

“Especially, you must never use your intervention ability easily. I don’t know what the consequences will be.”

“Yes. I will be careful not to use my ability.”

“There’s nothing I can do if you use it without my knowledge…”

Elohim took a step back after muttering something incomprehensible.

“I will take the price after you have finished reading the book as you wish.”

“Thank you.”

I decided to read the book anyway, so I ended the discussion in advance to pay it after seeing Cheon Sa-yeon’s past, no matter what the price was.

“I will take care of the explanations that they don’t understand about the Praus Cult and Kali while you read the book. So, feel free to read it.”

“Please do so. Then I’m going.”

“Be careful, Yi-gyeol-ssi.”

Piiik, pik!

It was the last moment I opened the book to say goodbye to Min Ah-rin and Fox. Cheon Sa-yeon, who had been quiet until now, said to me.

“Take care of me from the past, Han Yi-gyeol.”

Before I could even ask what it meant, white light burst out of the revealed inside of the book. With the light that engulfed my vision, I felt as if my body was flying above the sky.

The whole world was twisted. Hundreds or thousands of rays of light passed through my body and chilling goosebumps rushed through my back endlessly.

The present went away. I was now going back to the past.

* * *

“Gasp…!”

I lowered my head deeply, inhaling in vain at the terrifying sensation of falling from a high place.

I felt a tingling pain all over my body for a brief moment. I was able to slowly open my eyes only after the intense headache that thumped as if I had been hit with a hammer subsided.

‘The smell of grass…’

I saw green grass rustling in the wind. In the meantime, the red flowers bloomed in between. I slowly straightened my crouched body and stood up.

A small, worn-out playground spread out overgrown with weeds. Squeak, squeak. The rusty swing creaked and swayed in the wind.

That was when I was staring blankly at it. A bright laugh was heard from behind.

「Ah, the ball…!」

In front of the little child who came to me with his back to the sunlight, a bright yellow ball was bouncing on the dirt ground. A boy who was so small that couldn’t even reach my thighs ran hard and caught the ball.

The round back of his head and his lightly waving dark hair were particularly embedded in my sight. No way…

「Sa-yeon-ah.」

A soft voice came from outside the playground in the distance. Like me, the boy who heard the call threw away the ball he had just caught and ran towards the woman.

「Did you have fun?」

「Ung.」

「It’s sunset, so let’s stop playing and go home. We have to eat dinner.」

The words that came out gently were full of love. The child nodded and his small, round head moved as if he knew it.

I slowly walked toward them. The woman’s face, which had been hidden by the bushes, appeared.

Her dark hair down to the chest and her skin was so pale. Her distinct facial features resembled a lot of the person I knew.

「Our Sa-yeon. What would you like to have for dinner?」

「What Mom hid in the ceiling.」

「That’s sweets.」

「Ung, that one.」

「I will give you sweets after you eat.」

The woman walked out of the playground, holding the boy’s little hand.

The two gradually moved away, soon spreading like ink in water, blurring, and then starting to change into a different form.

「…this wasn’t what you said at first. If you break your promise like this…」

「Then what are you going to do?」

The surroundings quickly turned indoor. The voice of an unfamiliar man resounded through the two-room house, where traces of life were there.

「You mean you’re going to keep raising a child with that body? Alone?」

A small child I saw at the playground opened the door slightly and peeped into the living room. Through the crack in the small open door, the sound of a conversation between the man and the woman could be heard along with the lights.

「Yes. I’m going to raise him alone. You said you wouldn’t interfere with me and the child anymore.」

「The situation has changed.」

The man who had coldly cut off the woman’s pleas spoke with high pressure as if commanding.

「I need a new child.」

「What are you…」

「You hand over the child and come in too.」

The child’s forehead wrinkled anxiously as if he felt an unusual atmosphere.

「You want me to go back to that hell? I absolutely hate it. I’d rather die here!」

「Die? Are you going to die in this filthy garbage dump?」

The man raised the corners of his lips slightly and laughed.

「It’s only because you’re so slow to figure it out. What a heartless mother who doesn’t even think about her child.」

「……」

「You’re not going to live long, but you don’t care at all about the future of your child? You’re gonna die leaving your child alone in this cramped place?」

The woman’s complexion became pale at the sharp criticism that poured down like a dagger.

「If you reject my favour now, I’ll have nothing more to do. It means that even if that child dies in this garbage dump, I won’t get involved at all.」

「……」

「Dying of starvation next to his mother’s body. What a wonderful ending.」

In the end, the woman shed tears. The child, who had been watching her secretly, clenched his little hand tightly.

Once again, the whole landscape was scattered like water. Gorgeous-looking furniture quickly appeared through the pure white lights.

Now everything around was only expensive furniture. Spacious living room with high ceilings and luxurious sofas. The scent of bitter tea filled this space.

「Is that kid?」

When a strange woman in a luxurious shawl crossed her legs and asked a question, the man sitting at the top answered while untying the tie.

「Yeah.」

「Hmm.」

The child who was standing in the corner of the living room flinched his shoulders as they looked down on him.

「Well… he sure looks like that woman. The first and the second as well. How come they only resemble that woman and have no resemblance to you?」

「What nonsense you talk about. Did you call Cheon Je-heon (천제헌)?」

「Yes. He will come soon.」

As soon as the words were finished, the door to the parlour opened and a young boy entered with the attendant. The boy with well-dressed clothes and neatly arranged hair looked like he had grown up nicely.

「Je-heon, come here.」

The woman, who had been cold the whole time, smiled deeply and beckoned to the child who had come with the attendant.

「From today on, Je-heon has a younger brother.」

「Brother?」

「Yeah. You said you wanted a brother, right? Come on, say hi to each other.」

Two boys with similar appearances stood facing each other. Black hair and black eyes. Significantly different heights. One had a displeased expression and the other had a frightened expression.

The woman smiled like a snake as she looked at the two hardened children and opened her mouth.

「Now, this is Cheon Je-heon. Call him ‘Je-heon-hyung.」

「……」

「This is Cheon Sa-yeon. You can tell Sa-yeon is your brother. Got it?」

「When you’re done saying hello, send him up.」

「Oh my, so heartless. But now that we’re living together in the same house, don’t we need to get along well?」

The child on the other side, Cheon Sa-yeon, looked despairingly at those words and bowed his head. With his already small body and his head bowed down, he became much smaller.

“……”

Watching it all, I lowered my gaze. All of a sudden, everything in front of me started to blur again.