The Returner

Chapter 93: What is the grim reaper doing? Isn’t this dereliction of duty? (3)

“Hmm....” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

On the way back home, while being accompanied by Oh-Sik.

Looking at the mini Ogre trotting around and sticking close to him even without a leash, it was as if he was looking at an actual puppy. When Yi Ji-Hyuk lightly tapped Oh-Sik’s rear end with his foot, the Ogre tilted his head slightly in a quizzical manner. All in all, Yi Ji-Hyuk found it to be quite adorable for some reason.

That round and chubby face, and those sparkling pair of round eyes.....

‘Could this be me having a moment?!’ (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

A moment, because of an Ogre?

Sure, this was a result created through Yi Ji-Hyuk’s own hands, but... What should he refer to this as? This adorable end result of coincidences upon coincidences piling on top of one another?

Yi Ji-Hyuk was about to commence a non-stop patting session, but then spat out a long groan instead.

“Wait a minute. It’s still a dang Ogre....” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

If one were to talk about Oh-Sik’s facial features, then his ugliness was right up there with Chang-Sik. So, he should not be fooled like this.

“But, still....” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

So what if his original form was hideous? The dang thing looked cute now, so everything was fine.

Besides, this was the age of rampant cosmetic surgery. This was far better than that kind of fakery, in any case.

Well, with or without the surgery, being pleasant to look at was enough.

Indeed, looking nice was certainly more than enough....

Really, really, really – looking nice was....

....Why am I so scared of that girl over there, I wonder? (Yi Ji-Hyuk’s inner monologue)

That demon king-like girlie over there!!

Yi Ji-Hyuk nervously swallowed his saliva after spotting a blonde head right next to the entrance of his house, dancing around in the breeze.

....If you were planning on hiding, at least you should be hiding properly!

Why did she hide like an amateur every time with half of her head exposed like that?

Is she trying to imply that she’d like to seen or something?(Yi Ji-Hyuk’s inner monologue)

Woof!

Oh-Sik suddenly jumped out and ran forward like a bolt of lightning.

Keuh, you brave little fella!

That’s right! Go and bite her! Go and defeat the enemy hindering your wonderful owner’s path!! (Yi Ji-Hyuk’s inner monologue)

Oh-Sik ran forward bravely, before he slid on the ground and flipped his body over to expose his tummy near the pair of white legs belonging to a certain blonde girl.

....What the freaking hell.... (Yi Ji-Hyuk’s inner monologue)

Then, Oh-Sik began panting while wagging his tail.

Isn’t that a sign of obedience?!

What is that stupid Ogre doing?! Does he really think he’s a puppy now?

No, hang on a minute!!!!

Even a puppy should be able to differentiate between his owner and a complete stranger!!! (Yi Ji-Hyuk’s inner monologue)

“No more food for you, you b*stard.” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

Overcome with the feelings of betrayal, Yi Ji-Hyuk was about to drop kick the mini Ogre into the next continent, but then, Kim Dah-Som reached out and pulled Oh-Sik tightly in a protective hug.

And, her eyes became wide and tearful as she stared at him.

“What is it now?” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

“.....................” (Kim Dah-Som)

“.......Ha-ah...” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

Hey, girlie. What you’re hugging right now ain’t a real puppy, you know? It’s a “something” else in a puppy’s clothing, instead!

I mean, even if I kick it for the next three days and three nights straight, you won’t see a single scar on the dang thing!

You think I’ll kick it with Mana or something?

Ha, would you take a look at those eyes?

In a blink of an eye, I’ve become an animal abuser. (Yi Ji-Hyuk’s inner monologue)

“W, why are you looking at another person like that?!” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

Kim Dah-Som patted Oh-Sik as if she found this whole thing rather unfortunate while her tearful eyes remained fixed on him. Yi Ji-Hyuk ended up blurting out an excuse before he realised it.

“Sure, abusing animals is a crime, but abusing monsters is something to be encouraged, instead!” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

No, not just to be encouraged, but actually needs to be performed as one’s duty, isn’t it?! (Yi Ji-Hyuk’s inner monologue)

“.........”

Kim Dah-Som wordlessly put Oh-Sik down on the ground, and reached behind her to drag a rather sizeable box to her front.

“W, what’s in there?” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

Kim Dah-Som remained quiet as she opened the box. Then, she proceeded to drape all sorts of stuff over Yi Ji-Hyuk’s body; from a thick duck-feather parka, then shoes, to a shirt, and....

What the hell. Is this a set? (Yi Ji-Hyuk’s inner monologue)

She dressed up the dazedly-standing Yi Ji-Hyuk with clothing that could be changed in public, and for the rest that couldn’t be, she neatly packed them back into the large box and handed it over. She then stared at him.

“M, mm?”

After receiving her stare that seemed to demand something from him, Yi Ji-Hyuk couldn’t help but flinch rather grandly.

“.........”

“Uhm.... T, thanks....” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

Losing to her glare, Yi Ji-Hyuk gave out a non-committal murmur in return, and that caused Kim Dah-Som’s stiff, prim expression to brighten up in an instant.

‘....She is really good looking, isn’t she....’ (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

Even Yi Ji-Hyuk, who normally treated the majority of beautiful women as nothing more than rocks found in a garden, had to concede this unavoidable fact as her face glowed radiantly.

It was enough to make the idol Jeong Hae-Min look plain in comparison.

Only if this girl smiled as often as this....

No, wait a bloody minute – that had all the potential to cause a massive mayhem, instead. So, that would definitely not be a good thing.

While Yi Ji-Hyuk was busy shaking his head trying to rid himself of these useless thoughts, Kim Dah-Som proceeded to gently pat Oh-Sik’s head twice, then shifted her gaze back to him with a soft grin on her face.

“M, mm?” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

“.............”

“....You want me to go inside?” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

Nod.

‘....You know, you could’ve just said that out aloud. What a weird personality you have....’ (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

Originally, she was able to talk so much more openly than this. But, as time moved on, she seemed to be getting worse.

Shouldn’t it be the other way around?

“O, okay. See you later, then.” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

Nod.

Still carrying a soft smile, Kim Dah-Som lightly nodded her head. Yi Ji-Hyuk opened the front door and entered the house.

Woof!

After confirming that Yi Ji-Hyuk had entered the house, Kim Dah-Som lowered her gaze and stared at Oh-Sik, currently rubbing his cheek against her leg.

Woof?

*SFX for a kick landing splendidly*

She lightly kicked Oh-Sik away and snorted grandly while looking down on the Ogre with a cold expression etched on her face. Then she trotted away from the entrance.

‘Hiiiiick....’ (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

Meanwhile, Yi Ji-Hyuk, as soon as entering the house, hurriedly ran to the nearby window and got to witness this scene unfold in its full glory. And naturally, he began trembling in fear.

I decided to have a look, cuz I thought something seemed amiss, but hell no! That tearful thingymajiggy was nothing more than an act!!

The victim of the kick, Oh-Sik, simply sat there, tilting his head and wondering what was that all about.

Oh, heavens!

“She’s giving me the heebie-jeebies, man! Really now!!” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

More importantly, though, why was someone like her circling around him?

Did this world not have any gods, Buddhas? Anything?

“Dang it, how scary....” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

“What is?” (Ye-Won)

Yi Ye-Won was looking at her brother with a pair of very unimpressed eyes when he suddenly ran up to a window as soon as entering the house, and then began shivering as he held onto the frames. She retorted as soon as he murmured to himself.

Like the good little sister that she was.

“No, like, the thing is, she.... What the....?!” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

....What the hell, she’s still a canary head?

Yi Ji-Hyuk roughly snatched his little sister’s blonde hair.

“Kyyahk?! What the hell are you doing, you crazy b*stard?!” (Ye-Won)

“Hey you! I told you to dye your hair back, didn’t I?! Doesn’t your oppa’s words sound like human speech to your ears or something?!” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

“Let go!! Better let go, or else!! Let go, before I kick you!!” (Ye-Won)

Kick me? Where?!

Yi Ji-Hyuk instinctively shielded his groin region.

Well, although he wasn’t planning to use it any time soon, not using it because he didn’t have any and not using it through choice were two very, veeeeery different things.

“Anyways, dye your hair! If you wanna stand out, then go for ginger instead, you dumb little girl! Didn’t you hear that the serial killer is only targeting blondes? Everyone else is busy dyeing their bleached heads back to normal, yet just what sort of c**p is stinking up your brain to dye your head blonde now?!” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

“And just how would that killer enter here?! This is a restricted area and all!” (Ye-Won)

Because he’s also an ability user, that’s why!!

Everyone else seems to know that already! Don’t you browse the internet or something?!

Just what the heck are you doing with all that free time in a day? Just what?! (Yi Ji-Hyuk’s inner monologue)

Suddenly feeling rather defeated, Yi Ji-Hyuk released his sister’s hair.

“In any case, dye your hair! You did good by going back to black hair, but why did you have to go and gold plate your head again?” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

“I don’t have anyone to show off to, so what good was there to go back to black hair?” (Ye-Won)

“Don’t have anyone to.... show off?” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

“.....”

Hah, would you look at this crafty little thing now?

Someone like you is still aiming for Choi Jung-Hoon?

You should know your place! (Yi Ji-Hyuk’s inner monologue)

“....Go back to black hair, okay?” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

“Ng?”

“I’ll create an opportunity for you.” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

“....Really?” (Ye-Won)

“That’s why, you gotta dye your hair back to black and behave modestly and everything. He seems to like such types.” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

“Ng! I’ll dye my hair back to black!” (Ye-Won)

“Very good.” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

....I’m very sorry, Mister Choi Jung-Hoon.

But, what can I do? I’m still her oppa, after all.

I’d like to see my little sister be happy.

Of course, it’s a small pity that your life will become a bit more difficult, but....

Oh, well. As long as she’s happy.

*

At the same time....

Choi Jung-Hoon couldn’t go home today, as usual, and was currently in the midst of madly rushing through stacks upon stacks of official documents. Suddenly, an unknown chill descended upon him and he shivered uncontrollably.

“What’s the matter, sir?” (Kim Jae-Beom)

“Oh, uh, it’s nothing. It kinda felt like I was falling into the depths of hell for some reason just now.” (Choi Jung-Hoon)

“Vice Captain, I think you’re overworking yourself. How about taking a short break?” (Kim Jae-Beom)

“Looks like you might be right. Something like this has never happened before.” (Choi Jung-Hoon)

Choi Jung-Hoon shivered again as he popped the lid off an energy tonic bottle and poured its contents into his favourite tumbler.

‘Why did I feel the chill just now?’ (Choi Jung-Hoon)

Of course, he had no way of figuring out where that chill was coming from. Which was rather unfortunate....

*

“By the way, oppa?” (Ye-Won)

“Yeah?” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

“You shouldn’t only scold me, though.” (Ye-Won)

“What are you talking about now?” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

“Dah-Som is also a blonde, you know?” (Ye-Won)

“Oh. Yeah, sure. She is.” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

“And besides, she’s really pretty, too.” (Ye-Won)

“Right.” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

Well, her being pretty is a fact.

No, to be more specific, she’s an absolute head-turning stunner. (Yi Ji-Hyuk’s inner monologue)

Yi Ji-Hyuk was someone who had a tendency to remain unmoved by what was considered beautiful by human standards, all thanks to his constant dealings with fantastical creatures that easily exceeded such a measuring stick. Yet, even he thought Kim Dah-Som was a good looking girl, so her beauty was truly a remarkable one.

Indeed, just how beautiful were the elves and demonesses? Yi Ji-Hyuk was used to seeing them, yet even he had to acknowledge Kim Dah-Som’s looks. She was even better looking than Jeong Hae-Min, who just so happened to be an idol.

Now that I think about it, what are all the Korean entertainment agencies doing? Not making a celebrity out of such a girl and all. (Yi Ji-Hyuk’s inner monologue)

“So, like, shouldn’t you make her dye her hair, too?” (Ye-Won)

“And why should I?” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

“Aren’t you supposed to look after her?” (Ye-Won)

“I’m sure her own oppa will do that just fine.” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

“Hah......”

Yi Ye-Won stared at her older brother with a dumbfounded face.

Just what is this Squidward face talking about?

Why is he so taciturn, instead of dancing naked in the streets out of sheer gratitude with tears pouring down his face, when someone on the level of Kim Dah-Som is paying attention to him? (Ye-Won’s inner monologue)

“What will you do if something bad happens to her?” (Ye-Won)

“What a pity, then.” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

“If you can’t see her again?” (Ye-Won)

“Well, that should be a pity, too.” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

“.....Never mind.” (Ye-Won)

It was better to save her breath at this point in their conversation. Otherwise, she might really die of frustration at this rate.

However, Ye-Won couldn’t control her itchy gums and flapped them again.

“Haven’t you realised that girl likes you?” (Ye-Won)

“Of course I have.” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

“....You did?” (Ye-Won)

“Yup.”

Yi Ji-Hyuk looked at his sister with a pair of disbelieving eyes.

As long as a person still had common sense, no, just a pair of working eyes, he’d be able to see that. Hell, even a blind man would be able to see that just fine.

“You think I’m a blockhead or something?” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

“But then, why?” (Ye-Won)

“Eh? Why what?” (Yi ji-Hyuk)

“I mean, a girl that pretty is definitely pining for you, so like, don’t you have any thoughts of wanting to show your gratitude or reciprocate that feeling?” (Ye-Won)

Yi Ji-Hyuk lightly nodded his head.

“Yup, don’t have.” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

“What the hell?! You dumba*s!!” (Ye-Won)

She blew her top immediately.

Seeing Ye-Won get far more angrier than he did for some inexplicable reason, Yi Ji-Hyuk simply clicked his tongue.

“Oppa! You should know your place, you know?! You think you deserve someone on her level?!” (Ye-Won)

“Right, not at all.” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

“Oh, so you know, yet you act like this?” (Ye-Won)

“Yeah, cuz her level is too low.” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

“Hul.........”

Hearing that completely nonsensical declaration, Yi Ye-Won dazedly stared at the face of Squidward, no, her oppa.

Could he be really insane?

“Hah, you must’ve really lost a whole batch of screws from your head.” (Ye-Won)

“It’s a waste of time to explain to you anyways.” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

Do you have any idea how many women wanted to see me back in Berafe....?

Oh, wait. There wasn’t anyone, was there?

In any case!

The number of women I fooled around after my various conquests would go around a medium-sized continent in three columns!

Not only that, they were all incredible beauties!!

I’m a man who dealt with beauties on the level of elves, but you want me to go all gaga over a face that’s only on that level?

What a preposterous notion!

And most importantly!! (Yi Ji-Hyuk’s inner monologue)

“Women are scary.” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

Yep, they are really scary!

Women are more scary than demon kings, seriously!! (Yi Ji-Hyuk’s inner monologue)

One’s beauty? Good looks?

They would only last for a few years at best. One’s looks would wither away and become nothing to write home about in less than twenty years’ time.

Kindness? Good personalities?

Even being kind would only last for a short time. The moment the husband fails to bring home the dough, the so-called kind wife would transform into a devil in an instant.

“Keuhk....”

“....And why are you crying now?” (Ye-Won)

“I just recalled something.... It’s nothing.” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

“.........”

Yi Ji-Hyuk quickly wiped away the moisture welling up on the corners of his eyes and spoke.

“In any case, don’t try to pair us up, okay? I’m not interested.” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

“Well, I’m not sure if things will go the way you’d like, because I think that girl’s completely crazy about you.” (Ye-Won)

“.....Stop it. I’m already scared as it is.” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

“But, really now. Isn’t it really dangerous?” (Ye-Won)

“Mm?”

“I mean, about her. She’s walking home all alone, so what if something does happen to her?” (Ye-Won)

“Hah.... I guess you’re too young to understand this, but the thing is, the matters of this world are built upon coincidences and coinciden....” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

....Upon coincidences.

Indeed, that’d be the normal case.

If one lived for a thousand years, then one might run into something as sh*tty maybe once every hundred years.

“Eiii, there’s no way....” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

“Oh? Where are you going now?” (Ye-Won)

“....Just confirming something. That’s all.” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

Once Yi Ji-Hyuk hurriedly left the house, Ye-Won burst out in a fit of giggles.

“I guess you aren’t completely uninterested, then, eh?” (Ye-Won)

For the first time in a long, long while, she thought her brother, busy running after Kim Dah-Som, was rather adorable to look at.

< 93. What is the grim reaper doing? Isn’t this dereliction of duty? -3 > Fin.

(TL: Remaining amount till the next sponsored chapter: $50.)